As parents we often have the mentality that the way we parent is the absolute best way to raise a child. Many of us use methods of our own childhoods. Some people try things from their own childhood and add new methods as a combination. And then, there are some parents who will not use methods from their childhood at all.
After becoming a parent, we come to a point where we start thinking about discipline, boundaries, and rules. You start thinking about certain details in the way you will raise your child. However, more often than not, we find sometimes our parenting never works out the way we planned.
So, this subject starts coming up at age 1 and 2. This is when children start to test boundaries and explore. You must understand why they do the things they do in order to help the parenting process. They are learning. Every time they dig out the pots and pans or are talking your ear off, they are learning. When they make a mess, they are learning. Children do these things because they want to see what will happen or what it does. They are learning to be grown-ups and we should always give them the respect we would an adult. Most children are more receptive to a calm respectful conversation, even from 2-3 years old.
At this point (toddler years) you may have realized that disciplining was a little tougher than you thought. Remember, discipline and punishment are two totally different things. What you need to do is discipline your child to do the right thing, not punish them for doing the wrong thing. You must teach them.
When your toddler wants something in the store and you say no, he or she will probably throw a tantrum. Toddlers have emotions bigger than they are. There are quite a few reactions to this scenario, and many parents would argue over the best. The question is, “What would you do in this situation?”
Sometimes we will have a moment where we start to question our own parenting methods. If you feel that your methods may not be working out, you are not alone. There are many resources and online sites that are very informational. If you educate yourself on all of the parenting styles and methods, you can make a better decision on how to parent. Most parents find that if they would stop or start doing a few things in particular, they get better results.
If your parenting skills seem to not work or something that used to work doesn’t anymore, then it may be time to stop and reevaluate. Surf the web, do some research and try different things. Every child is different in the way they respond, so know your child and remember: if a child feels validated and respected, they will usually cooperate with you. There is no need to yell at your child, but we all do at some point, we aren’t perfect. Find resources and educate yourself and it will be all downhill from there.
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